Photobunt

Lilac:
- cow
- meadow
- air
- mountains.

Golden:
- horns
- nose
- bell
- buckle
- belt?
- udder
- rainbow
- bottom of the picture.

Kiklop’s Easter Fight (taken from Kiklop’s Blog with author’s kind permission)

Fishes fell from the sky…

Jesus smashed with his cross…

But everything was invain…

Against Jesus fought and won - Kiklop.

Serbian Ministry of (mal)education has published “A collection of exercises in Serbian language” for the entrance exam for enrollment in secondary schools. Questions are related to the school textbooks that children use every day. So is the national fairytale “Mute tongue” also in the textbook for the eighth grade (13 years old pupils). This is a story about a shepherd who, after rescuing a snake, received as a gift from her the ability to understand animals. So he learns from the mare that his wife is pregnant and smiles on hearing it; his wife, however, wants to know why is he smiling, but he must not disclose the secret of his gift. As the woman persistently continues to question him, shepherd, advised by the rooster, takes the club and beats her.

So far, so good. A fairytale is a fairytale and we can not question the attitudes of medieval narrators. But in the collection of exercises (which the Ministry has approved) the correct answers to the following questions are these:

1. Shepherd’s wife in the fairytale deserves to be punished because of
- her inappropriate curiosity and negligence (fantastic)

2. Reader would have wished to have the power of the main character in order to
- deal with every situation correctly and therefore always be in the service of justice and good (even better)

3. Shepherd shows the following characteristics:
- curiosity, devotion and loyalty, persistency, honesty and kindness (aggression is not mentioned)

-> Read the whole text from Marija Dimić on Kiklop’s blog (in Serbian)

Happy Easter: scenes from the game Bible Fight:

Beograd, 2009.

Draga moja,

Mi smo dobro, preko dana je skoro normalno ali nocu
udaraju. Juce smo proslavili mali jubilej:
komandu su pogodili pedeseti put. Opet je ispalo ono
staklo iznad ulaznih vrata. Tata je rekao da ce ga jos
sad staviti, a sledeci put cemo zazidati.
Sve je sada mnogo lakse, kada se samo setim 1999. dok su
oni jos imali rakete i avione, onda je stvarno gruvalo.
Onda su presli na gadjanje dinamitom iz aviona
(kako smo ih samo gadjali prackama) i konacno nas gadjaju
kopljima i sekirama (vrhunske izrade). Inace
vode imamo dovoljno, svaki put kad pada kisa skupljamo je
u burence. Sto se hrane tice, sada je prolece pa ima
narcisa. Juce smo rucali divnu supu od domaceg vrapca,
bareni bastenski korov sa macjim filetima.
Pili smo divno vino (neidentifikovanog porekla),
a na kraju smo se pocastili sa kolacem od narcisa sa
malo blata (umesto cokolade). Milica i Teri su sa
zadovoljstvom polizali ostatke (mada znas da posle
Lekica malo sta ostane). Jutros sam se setao gradom.

Rov Kneza Mihajla je pun ljudi, bila su i neka dogadjanja
u Terazijskoj rupi.Najgore mi je sto sam svaki put
mokar jer moram da preplivam Savu. Inace u krater na
Slaviji su postavili neke kioske pa sada mnogo lepse
izgleda. Dobro je da nocu ne trebaju svetiljke jer
sve svetli od one trece atomske bombe.Steta sto su onu
cetvrtu ispustili u Francuskoj, pa em sto nema vise
Francuske, em bi nama bilo nocu jos svetlije.
Inace sutra je isplata drugog dela penzije za novembar
2004. Mama rece da ce obe marke da da za hranu.Videla je
divne macje polutke. Inace u skoli nista novo,
mnogo je lakse raditi sa odeljenjima od po 7-9 ucenika.
Izgleda da je radijacija ucinila svoje, pa su i djaci
bolji. Olgica treba da ide sa svojim maturantima na
ekskurziju,verovatno ce ici na Karaburmu da gledaju
najveci krater na Balkanu. Zao mi je sto se pobise
Rusi i Ameri pa smo mi nekako pali u drugi plan,
a i nivo mora je nesto visi otkako je Amerika potonula.
Nasi kumovi su na vreme otisli, sada su na ostrvu
Brace Jerkovic (jedino sto ratuju sa Vozdovcem,
hoce samostalnost za svoje ostrvo sa 213 stanovnika).
Ali ni ratovi nisu ko sto su bili, nema vise krupnog
kamenja. Svakodnevno gledamo TV (imamo neki stari ram,
pa svaki dan neko drugi stane iza njega pa kao
pravi program). Kao sto vidis nije tako strasno,
pisi kako je na vasem malom ostrvu.

Ja sam O.K. sto se ne bi moglo reci i za stakla na
mojoj kuci. Puno te pozdravljam i nadam se da ste ti i
tvoji takodje dobro!

Humor iz vremena NATO kampanje. Autor: nepoznat

————————

F-117 “Stealth” shot down

During the NATO bombing of Serbia between March 24th and June 10th 1999, Serbian army managed to shoot down one F-117 “stealth” aircraft in the fields some 50 kilometres north-west from Belgrade. For a few days all media in Serbia was full of reports about this great “success”, many people were ridiculously happy about it, and some even visited the site to express their joy by dancing on aircraft’s remains.

As it always is, after some time no one was interested any more in this pile of scratch; as I heard, it seems that some nearby Roma took the remains of F-117’s tail and wings to renew their shabby housings. But they were not to enjoy its protection for very long, for Russian intelligence was just as much interested in it: materials used in this most advanced killing machinery were NATO top secret. Despite of the protests of F-117’s new proprietors every single peace of metal was consequently taken away, and ended - if you want to believe in it - in Russia.

According to the state federal statistic agency, 4 467 people died during the last year in car accidents in Germany. This is the lowest death toll since the beginning of official recording in 1950, and a continuation of the positive development in last years. In 1970 there were around 22 000 deaths in traffic accidents (only in West Germany!).

Comparison to Serbia:

Germany’s population: 83 Million.
Serbia’s population: 7 Million.

Registered vehicles (Germany): around 60 Million.
Registered vehicles (Serbia): around 2 Million.

Total accidents 2008 (Germany): 2 280 733
Total accidents 2008 (Serbia): 63 875

Death toll 2008 (Germany): 4 467 (1 in every 510 accidents)
Death toll 2008 (Serbia): around 1 000 (1 in every 64 accidents)

Newspaper description of 36th episode of the series “Luz Maria”:

“Modesty says to Alvaro that, according to the letter, Lucecita does not know that Gustavo is also there. He feels relieved. Then she goes to Emilio to tell him that she is going to debunk Angelina. She goes to Miguel to ask him to raise Mirta’s salary. He is becoming harsh to her and she, as usual, plays a martyr. Vain and stubborn, she complains to be ignored, and blames Lucecita for it. Miguel defends her. Angelina becomes jealous, but at the end she gets at least the raise of Mirta’s salary. Not knowing who the owner is, Lucecita goes to the ranch for work. She is recieved by Pedro’s wife Charo who tells her that the boss will come soon, so she will be able to meet him. Lucecita is nervous. Alvaro says to Angelina that he already knows the truth about her alleged handicap and tries to convince her to bring out the truth, but she is stubborn and follows her plan.”

Illustrations from a cookbook published in Yugoslavia in 1985, before the war. Illustrations were drawn by Dussan Petriccich.

Compare with originals:
Serbian leader
Migration of Serbs
After the Kosovo Battle

“Saudi Arabia has became the Football World Champion for Mentally Disabled.”
“Saudijska Arabija pobedila na svetskom prvenstvu u fudbalu za mentalno ometene.”

*I do not agree with terminology (”mentally disabled”), but I just translated it as it is stated in German original.

Schaffe für alle, so schaffst du für dich.
A building in the eastern part of Regensburg.

Barack Obama is “young, beautiful and also tanned“.
Barak Obama je “mlad, lep, a takodje i osunccan“.

Silvio Berlusconi

From left to right and up to bottom:

Mahatma Gandhi (India), Mao Zedong (China)
Kapitan Pattimura (Indonesia)
Ho Shi Min (Vietnam), Bhumibol Adulyadej (Thailand)

Instructions for Serbian-American voters in California, in front of the Serbian orthodox St. John church.

For those who do not know Serbocroatomontenegrobosnian: “Vote for the nigger, the other guy is a faggot.”
Ili, na hrvatskocrnogorskobosanskosrpskom: “Glasaj za crnju, onaj drugi je peder.”

Translations are literal, no exaggerations.
Prevodi su doslovni, bez preterivanja.