Photobunt

Beograd, 2009.

Draga moja,

Mi smo dobro, preko dana je skoro normalno ali nocu
udaraju. Juce smo proslavili mali jubilej:
komandu su pogodili pedeseti put. Opet je ispalo ono
staklo iznad ulaznih vrata. Tata je rekao da ce ga jos
sad staviti, a sledeci put cemo zazidati.
Sve je sada mnogo lakse, kada se samo setim 1999. dok su
oni jos imali rakete i avione, onda je stvarno gruvalo.
Onda su presli na gadjanje dinamitom iz aviona
(kako smo ih samo gadjali prackama) i konacno nas gadjaju
kopljima i sekirama (vrhunske izrade). Inace
vode imamo dovoljno, svaki put kad pada kisa skupljamo je
u burence. Sto se hrane tice, sada je prolece pa ima
narcisa. Juce smo rucali divnu supu od domaceg vrapca,
bareni bastenski korov sa macjim filetima.
Pili smo divno vino (neidentifikovanog porekla),
a na kraju smo se pocastili sa kolacem od narcisa sa
malo blata (umesto cokolade). Milica i Teri su sa
zadovoljstvom polizali ostatke (mada znas da posle
Lekica malo sta ostane). Jutros sam se setao gradom.

Rov Kneza Mihajla je pun ljudi, bila su i neka dogadjanja
u Terazijskoj rupi.Najgore mi je sto sam svaki put
mokar jer moram da preplivam Savu. Inace u krater na
Slaviji su postavili neke kioske pa sada mnogo lepse
izgleda. Dobro je da nocu ne trebaju svetiljke jer
sve svetli od one trece atomske bombe.Steta sto su onu
cetvrtu ispustili u Francuskoj, pa em sto nema vise
Francuske, em bi nama bilo nocu jos svetlije.
Inace sutra je isplata drugog dela penzije za novembar
2004. Mama rece da ce obe marke da da za hranu.Videla je
divne macje polutke. Inace u skoli nista novo,
mnogo je lakse raditi sa odeljenjima od po 7-9 ucenika.
Izgleda da je radijacija ucinila svoje, pa su i djaci
bolji. Olgica treba da ide sa svojim maturantima na
ekskurziju,verovatno ce ici na Karaburmu da gledaju
najveci krater na Balkanu. Zao mi je sto se pobise
Rusi i Ameri pa smo mi nekako pali u drugi plan,
a i nivo mora je nesto visi otkako je Amerika potonula.
Nasi kumovi su na vreme otisli, sada su na ostrvu
Brace Jerkovic (jedino sto ratuju sa Vozdovcem,
hoce samostalnost za svoje ostrvo sa 213 stanovnika).
Ali ni ratovi nisu ko sto su bili, nema vise krupnog
kamenja. Svakodnevno gledamo TV (imamo neki stari ram,
pa svaki dan neko drugi stane iza njega pa kao
pravi program). Kao sto vidis nije tako strasno,
pisi kako je na vasem malom ostrvu.

Ja sam O.K. sto se ne bi moglo reci i za stakla na
mojoj kuci. Puno te pozdravljam i nadam se da ste ti i
tvoji takodje dobro!

Humor iz vremena NATO kampanje. Autor: nepoznat

————————

F-117 “Stealth” shot down

During the NATO bombing of Serbia between March 24th and June 10th 1999, Serbian army managed to shoot down one F-117 “stealth” aircraft in the fields some 50 kilometres north-west from Belgrade. For a few days all media in Serbia was full of reports about this great “success”, many people were ridiculously happy about it, and some even visited the site to express their joy by dancing on aircraft’s remains.

As it always is, after some time no one was interested any more in this pile of scratch; as I heard, it seems that some nearby Roma took the remains of F-117’s tail and wings to renew their shabby housings. But they were not to enjoy its protection for very long, for Russian intelligence was just as much interested in it: materials used in this most advanced killing machinery were NATO top secret. Despite of the protests of F-117’s new proprietors every single peace of metal was consequently taken away, and ended - if you want to believe in it - in Russia.

Machina: Covjekomobil

krstili smo narandžu sa jabukom i dinjom.
dobili smo dijandžu, posadili je njivom.
i dijandža uspjeva gdje god da se sije.
na klimu je imuna, jer se sama grije.

mama, mama, daj mi dijandžu!

taj patent smo prodali i kapital stekli
na tržište da krenemo sa projektom većim.
proučavali smo fiziku i mehanike zakon,
biolosku genetiku, tehnološki razvoj.
i pronašli smo formulu kroz eksperimente
i uspjeli ukrstiti auto i dijete.
znači, biće organsko, što hrani se benzinom
i odmilja ga nazvali čovjekomobilom.

mama, mama, sad sam mobilan!

za ovakav doprinos na polju humanizma
dobili smo nagrade čekove i pisma
u kojim ljudi nam zahvaljuju, sad svako može imati klinca
i mogućnost izbora, hoće li dizel ili benzinca.
sad nam pare donosi ova organska mašina.
svaka familija želi sad čovjekomobila.
multifunkcionalnost je ovog bića prednost,
s njim se možeš igrati, a služi i za prevoz.

mama, mama, ja sam prevoznik!

ali čovjek je pohlepan… na pamet pade pojedincu
da turbo ugrađuje i frizira djecu.
opravdavali pred zakonom tu namjeru svoju
željom da im dječica više ne kasne u školu.
pa zamisli ti mališu, u njemu 200 konjskih snaga,
šta se može desiti kad se s vršnjacima ganja.
tu dolazi do povreda kad mališa zatutnji,
fraktura i lomova, čak slučaja smrtnih.

mama, mama, spriječi nevolju!

od tada su počeli da prave dječije trke.
i tako skrše dječicu, pa nose da ih krpe.
tu više nema popravke, to su živa bića,
vulkanizer tu ne pomaže, džaba izmjena točkića.
to je biće koje umije da voli i da pati,
presaugati ne smije, a kamoli prokuhati.
sa mobilnim bićima treba htjeti, znati.
treba nekad podmazati, nekad moras prati.

mama, mama, sipaj antifriz!

ali tragedija najveća za čovjekomobila
biješe kad na istoku nastade ta kriza.
zatvoriše se pumpe sve, nestade benzina
i poče da vegetira naša organska mašina.
i nestašica poče da djecu u smrt tjera,
zemlja poče ličiti na planetu penzionera.
u kuće se useli čemer, jad i tuga,
i još samo ponegdje čuješ dječiji glas da kuka.

mama, mama, daj mi diesela!

Propaganda poster from occupied Serbia during WWII. It says “Germany has work for all”.
Between 1941 and 1945 whole population of around 60,000 Jews has been exterminated by Serbian collaborating regime and German occupational forces. Further 200,000 serbian citizens have died, many of them in forced labour camps in Serbia and Germany.

There are no seats with row number 13 in Lufthansa airplanes. In fact, not only row 13 but also the row 17 is missing. If you thought that this was the case only with Lufthansa then you are dead wrong - many other airlines avoid certain numbers in their aircrafts. As the matter of fact, Japan-based All Nippon Airways omits rows 4, 9 and 13! Why? Of yourse, the answer is clear - because all these numbers are generally considered “unlucky” in different cultures. In Christianity and Viking folklore for example, the number 13 is associated with bad luck, and even has a specifically recognized phobia, “Triskaidekaphobia”, a word which was coined in 1911. Seventeen is considered unlucky in Italy because rearranging the letters in the Roman numerals for 17 could spell “VIXI” which means “I lived” in Italian. Number four is generally avoided in Japan because it sounds like the word for death in their language (“Tetraphobia”) and the word for nine sounds like the word for torture.

But how about the fact that number 13 is actually considered “lucky” in Sikhism, since 13 is tera in Punjabi, which also means “yours” (as in, “I am yours, O Lord”)? Or the fact that Italian Alitalia’s Boeing 777s have thirteenth row while the rest of their fleet does not?!

I believe that education against superstition should be a part of common school programme, as well as education against religious, nationalistic and other ideological rubbish: as long as people are ready to believe that numbers, black cats or broken mirrors can bring misfortune, or that a horseshoe, knocking on wooden material or saying some special words can keep misfortune away, they will never be truly free and never be real masters of their own destiny. It may sound unimportant in comparison to a number of significant and disputed issues in the world today, but I am sure that connection between superstition and many cases of human suffering is much deeper than it may appear at the first sight.

“In order to achieve great changes that we need as a nation we must have energy. Therefore, political leadership must act as a motivational trainer in order to arouse that energy.“

“My priority is to remove all obstacles on Serbia’s road to Europe, without thinking whether those obstacles are set in a justified or an unjustified way.“

“Several things are necessary in reforms, first of all a unique vision of society. I call on people to remember that vision, the vision they fought for, the vision of an organized and successful country in which every individual is well aware of its position and responsibility“

“We want victory at any price. We know no fear. If you have a right idea and if that idea is historically alive and if your only opponent is one historically dead idea, then the victory is a matter of survival for one nation“

“If someone believes they can stop the implementation of the law by eliminating me, they are seriously deluding themselves, because I am not the system. The system will continue to function, and noone will receive amnesty for their crimes by eliminating one or two government officials.”

Dr Zoran Djindjic, assassinated Serbian Prime Minister
1952 - 2003

Hidden in mammas: Marlene & Felicia

At a request of the Serbian Orthodox Church (SPC), the Government of Serbia withdrew on Wednesday, Mar. 4, 2009 the Draft Law on the Prohibition of Discrimination from the parliamentary procedure. SPC filed its objections to the Draft Law the day before it had to finally be proposed to the Parliament, after five years of preparations and a broad public debate.

SPC allegedly had the consent of the Belgrade Archbishopric of the Catholic Church, the Islamic Community of Serbia, the Evangelical Church and other religious communities.

Apart from the fact that it belongs to the legislative package to enable Serbia’s inclusion into the “white Schengen list” and enable its citizens visa-free travel to EU and some other European countries, the Law represents one of the pieces of legislation most essential for the further development of democracy and respect, uphold and protection of human and minority rights, change in the value system and acceptance of equality as a condition for the functionality of the system. This Law contributes to the harmonization of Serbian legislation with the standards enshrined in numerous international instruments and the European Convention on Human Rights.

Disputed provisions of the Anti-Discrimination Law:

§ 18:
“Discrimination exists if steps are taken against the principles of freedom of expression of belief or conviction, or if an individual or a group is denied the right to acquire, maintain, express or alter their faith or conviction, as well as the right to privately or publicly express their convictions, in accordance with the law.”

§ 21:
“Gender identity and sexual orientation are a private matter and no person can be called upon to publicly declare one’s gender identity and sexual orientation. Everybody shall have the right to express their gender identity and sexual orientation, whereas discriminatory measures based on expression of gender identity or sexual orientation shall be prohibited. Freedom of expression of gender identity and sexual orientation shall relate to cases of transsexual persons as well.”

Whole text about this blatant act against further assurance of human rights and individual freedoms in Serbia is to be found here.